Save money the Dutch way!

Dutch people love saving money. If they find out eggs are €0.05 cheaper on the other side of town, they will bike in the rain for an hour to buy 100 of them, thus saving €5. Then they will forget they bought them and throw away 89 rotten ones two months later. But hey! They saved €5 for which they theoretically could buy something exciting! Like, a few more eggs. (That’s what they generally do.) It transpires I’ve always been Dutch …Read More »

Birthdays (2)

My birthday is not approaching anytime soon (which is a good thing because I will become so freaking old I’ll probably start seriously considering Botox, then I will turn into Nicole Kidman, receive lucrative advertising opportunities… actually I just decided my birthday is tomorrow) so I feel safe talking about previous ones. When I was a kid, and then a miserable teenager living with Mom and two brothers, my birthdays meant having Granny, Auntie, Mom and if I was lucky …Read More »

Birthdays (1)

Husby’s birthday is approaching soon! Of course this makes me very happy. It also is very awkward for a very simple reason. We have a rule not to give each other presents for valentines (note lowercase) and xmas (note lowercase). We do, however, celebrate birthdays. And when I say celebrate I mean to say we tell absolutely nobody and hide at home pretending we are plants. Nevertheless, both of us participate and at some point the topic of a present …Read More »

It’s oh so quiet

Okay, time to reveal the truth. I haven’t actually been kidnapped by Ricky and Rocky. (They do exist though, and most of what I have written about them is true. Rocky thought it was hilarious. Ricky blocked me on Facebook. Possibly. I don’t know because I deleted my account in case he’d read the post. I also changed my phone number. And moved. He’s a very lovely person though. If you are reading this, Ricky, please remember I love you …Read More »

FYI

We are currently trapped in a country the name of which I can’t pronounce (also I am not sure which continent this is) but it’s all good because Rocky smuggled some drugs the names of which I also can’t pronounce in a body orifice the name of which I would rather not reveal so we are having F-U-N-N with caputal U and will be back in a few days. I guess. Possibly. Shit. The drugs are either wearing off or …Read More »

Happy XXXmas!

’tis the season to enjoy and spend lots of money on presents for people you intensely dislike! So I thought I’d write about the one and only sex party I’ve ever been to. You’re welcome, Internet. The theme of the party was Leather Gayme Of Thrones, if I recall correctly. There might have been some XXX and cocks in the title as well. Since one of Husby’s MANY talents is making things out of leather and metal, he was kindly …Read More »

(Possible) Candlelight Supper With Ricky & Rocky

The first time I met Rocky was at a fetish sex club in Cologne. Except nobody told me it was a fetish sex club. I was under the impression that I was in a club and wondered why nobody else is on the dancefloor (truth be told, the DJ was so terrible even I only half-heartedly wiggled a bit out of sense of duty). I did wonder how come so many people come in but I actually SEE so few of …Read More »

If I Could Change The Way I Live My Life Today…

…I would change like so many things you can’t even imagine, but not for long, because that’s who and how I am. We had the fifth anniversary where is this going sort of chat with Husby and he said that his biggest fear is that I would change one day. I was like, dudebrohusby, I have ultra-ultra-rapid cycling bipolar. I change approximately every six hours. I don’t even know how you recognise me when you come home from work. No, he …Read More »

Husby Is Not So Technological

We have a clear division of tasks Chez Ours. For instance, Husby does all ironing, because I am so lazy I never would. It’s very easy to train yourself not to notice creases in anything. I don’t wear suits and shirts which might be because you DO notice creased shirts, no matter what your degree of laziness is. My mom sometimes complains that my t-shirts are not ironed, to which I answer “you’re welcome to do it yourself”. I wish …Read More »

Mancave!!!

I HAVE A MANCAVE NOW, BITCHES. By this I mean we realised we’ve got an attic that we haven’t been using since ever. It houses a bed our guests sleep in (that would be about 10 days a year), my CDs and DVDs which I play 0 days a year and a miniature sauna we use when we remember it exists, which is rarely. Other than that it mostly contained mess. So now it has officially become mine. Once the …Read More »