I went to pick up my dear friend Nina from the airport. The airplane wouldn’t let her out though (true story bro, I’ll let her fill in the details later) so I had to wait. And there I was, reading a book on my e-reader, when I caught sight of true beauty. He was maybe 28-30, bearded (obviously), with this sort of manga hair in streaks that sticks out naughtily from under a hat, and he was reading. A male man of human variety reading a book is always going to arouse my interest, so I looked at his choice of paperback:
And then it was over between us before he even noticed my existence.
Not because I have anything against Dawkins. Not because I don’t read scientific books. (I do, as long as they’re not too scientific if you know what I mean. Like cook books are just scientific enough, except I don’t read those because I have Husby for that. But ANYWAY.) It’s because I was reading this:
That’s right. I did not get a chance to seduce him, then sadly break his heart (because Husby, obv) because I couldn’t POSSIBLY talk to him about books.
“Hello, I couldn’t not notice that you are reading Richard Dawkins. Great choice there bro, really rad.”
“Why thank you. I see you’re reading something too. Is it something classy and scientific?”
“Uh, where are the toilets? There I think. Gotta go byeeeeee!”
Disclaimer: Pete Burns’ autobiography is amazeballs and you should read it even if you’re a straight boy who watches football. But if you are attracted to someone BECAUSE they are reading Dawkins in a public place and look like they are actually enjoying the book, you CAN. NOT. come by with your Pete Burns.
If it was at least a hardcover with a black leather cover and golden embossed text 🙁