Husby at war

A pigeon fell in love with my Husby. I don’t really mind. I mean, we have an open marriage, he put a ring on it (and so did I, I’m not some kind of stingy bastard). But Husby is so pissed off he blocked the pigeon on interspeciesdating dot com. Unfortunately though, the bird has our address and is stalking Husby full time. And it goes, “blorp blorp wanna fuck” and Husby’s all like “DIE IN HELL SATAN” and pigeon …Read More »

Happy XXXmas!

’tis the season to enjoy and spend lots of money on presents for people you intensely dislike! So I thought I’d write about the one and only sex party I’ve ever been to. You’re welcome, Internet. The theme of the party was Leather Gayme Of Thrones, if I recall correctly. There might have been some XXX and cocks in the title as well. Since one of Husby’s MANY talents is making things out of leather and metal, he was kindly …Read More »

Why I Don’t Get Laid Much

When I came to Amsterdam ten years ago, I was basically Cinderella up for a rude awakening. One of the first times I went on a date the guy told me he’d like to have an open relationship. “Ooh,” I exclaimed, “how unusual and exciting!” He gave me a look. “Everybody has an open relationship in Amsterdam.” This was a rather novel concept for someone who comes from a country in which in 2006 you could essentially be Madonna (i.e. …Read More »