If I Could Change The Way I Live My Life Today…

…I would change like so many things you can’t even imagine, but not for long, because that’s who and how I am. We had the fifth anniversary where is this going sort of chat with Husby and he said that his biggest fear is that I would change one day. I was like, dudebrohusby, I have ultra-ultra-rapid cycling bipolar. I change approximately every six hours. I don’t even know how you recognise me when you come home from work. No, he …Read More »

Husby Is Not So Technological

We have a clear division of tasks Chez Ours. For instance, Husby does all ironing, because I am so lazy I never would. It’s very easy to train yourself not to notice creases in anything. I don’t wear suits and shirts which might be because you DO notice creased shirts, no matter what your degree of laziness is. My mom sometimes complains that my t-shirts are not ironed, to which I answer “you’re welcome to do it yourself”. I wish …Read More »

Mancave!!!

I HAVE A MANCAVE NOW, BITCHES. By this I mean we realised we’ve got an attic that we haven’t been using since ever. It houses a bed our guests sleep in (that would be about 10 days a year), my CDs and DVDs which I play 0 days a year and a miniature sauna we use when we remember it exists, which is rarely. Other than that it mostly contained mess. So now it has officially become mine. Once the …Read More »

How To Stay Popular In The Fifth Anniversary World

For the post title I used a tool called “Portent’s Content Idea Generator”. So either you’re welcome or I am not to blame, okay. I’d do a poll asking if you want me to use this thing more often if I weren’t too lazy to figure out how to do a poll. Before meeting Husby, who then was obviously then called Potential Candidate, I was convinced I was not going to have another relationship ever. My history wasn’t exactly stellar. I …Read More »

Why I Have Missed On Goodness That Was Ben

Ben was a workmate of mine back in the Stone Ages when I had a regular job. I know! I can’t believe it either. I mean what are the odds of having a workmate called Ben? He was beautiful. Ripped, too – he was a semi-pro swimmer and I suppose he needed a job because of the “semi” bit. He liked taking his clothes off, which sadly happened very rarely because for some reason he didn’t do it at work. …Read More »

Husby Doesn’t Understand Intoxication

There was this birthday once that we were invited to. Since it was Netherlands, we were all sitting in a circle with our beverages, talking. Since it was an anarchist twenty-something’s birthday, those beverages were NOT coffee. (Well, I had mineral water, because I am an anarchist anarchist and I go against the flow of those who go against the flow. I was also a hipster before it was cool.) Anyway, since we were a bunch of blokes most of whom …Read More »

Sicko

So there’s this embarrassing thing where I’m not even 40, but I get sick all the time. I love everything medieval except things related to hygiene, but even if I somehow managed to live long enough to take my first steps and hold my first sword/bow/shovel/hammer I would trip over a piece of moldy cheese and stab myself with sword/shoot with bow/hit with shovel or hammer, because that’s how I roll. While stabbing self with sword I would also be …Read More »

Love, Complicated

I am 39, therefore I have fully formed my idea of what love is and should be a decade ago or so. To create this construct, I used: exclusively straight relationships …that I’ve seen in romantic comedies or Sex And The City… …and Bridget Jones books. Most people would probably start by looking at their family. But seeing as my father was a serial cheater, criminal, alcoholic and left mom with a newborn when I was 14, even someone with IQ …Read More »

Why I Don’t Get Laid Much

When I came to Amsterdam ten years ago, I was basically Cinderella up for a rude awakening. One of the first times I went on a date the guy told me he’d like to have an open relationship. “Ooh,” I exclaimed, “how unusual and exciting!” He gave me a look. “Everybody has an open relationship in Amsterdam.” This was a rather novel concept for someone who comes from a country in which in 2006 you could essentially be Madonna (i.e. …Read More »

The Shortest Romance That’s Ever Been Sold

I went to pick up my dear friend Nina from the airport. The airplane wouldn’t let her out though (true story bro, I’ll let her fill in the details later) so I had to wait. And there I was, reading a book on my e-reader, when I caught sight of true beauty. He was maybe 28-30, bearded (obviously), with this sort of manga hair in streaks that sticks out naughtily from under a hat, and he was reading. A male …Read More »